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Beck would understand, Will Smith wouldnt's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2015-09-28 20:44
Subject:Ive been watching fightclub...

...there is nothing i cant apply that film to...

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Date:2010-06-21 11:25
Subject:do i want cheese with that?!...

Vegas - done
Arizona - done
Cali - doing

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Date:2010-06-08 00:27

This is this, that is not that. I no longer work for anyone, except myself... I dont wait for a paycheque, I pay myself & if I want a four hour lunch break... I'll have fries with that. As of now, I am no longer gainfully employed, I've jumped ship & decided to become a full time jewelry designer, premises - check. Tools - check. Materials - check. Skills or any kind of knowledge - cheque in the post.

Having cut myself off from any kind of income, I've decided to celebrate. This time next week I will be at 30,000 feet, winging my way to Las Vegas (where I might get married again, undecided) & upon arrival I will head straight to Circus Circus to pick up my Mustang Convertible (booya) & spend the next five weeks sticking my nose into whatever the west coast has to offer. From the Sublime (Skiing, desert, beaches... compton) to the ridiculous (area 51, vibrating beds, americans, bacon & syrup) I will see it all... My only wish is that I could have done this in the 70's.

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Date:2009-10-26 15:37
Subject:Billy Ray was a preachers son...

I'm not fat, but I have this pudge... & more skin on my face that it really needs, so I decided to do something about it & accidentally stumbled across Starvation Therapy (patent pending).

Basically, you have nothing for breakfast, fuck all for lunch & then a small bowl of fat free whatever in the evening. Every time hunger reaches the ‘crippling level’ for your body or mind, you sip a glass of water or if that doesn't work, have a smoke.... or if that doesn't work, you repetitively slap yourself in the face & shout "YOU WEAK MINDED FOOL, GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF BEFORE WE MELT YOU DOWN & USE THE DRIPPING AS INDUSTRIAL LUBRICANT!!!"

So far so good. Soon my cock will look even bigger (in proportion to my body) & all my co-workers leave me alone as they think I'm shouting at them.

Another idea I'm playing with is Death Therapy. When faced with death the mind shed's all the dead weight, all the inconsequential bullshit until all that's left is the inner core of what's important. I think I need reminding of what my core needs are from time to time, so I just need to find a way to cheat death on a regular basis. My driving doesn't do it for me any more.

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Date:2009-10-13 23:10

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Date:2009-10-08 13:06
Subject:A load off...

I realised there was one thing stopping me from being truly happy, a common thread running through all of the disasters, mishaps & trauma in my life. Something… that seemed so inconsequential, was really the most significant issue in my life. This thing is Bad Hair.

I sat down & thought about everything that has ever gone wrong for me - a fairly long list - I came to the conclusion that it could all could be attributed to me having bad hair. So that's what I did.

Crashing cars - Bad hair.
Loss of passion - Bad hair
Drug & Alcohol abuse - Bad hair.
Reckless endangerment of life - Bad hair.
Acting like a freakin idiot - Bad hair.
Bad hair - Bad hair.

With this in mind I went to my local rockabilly barber & had it all cut off. Since that point - Aye is taking 4 months off work, so we can travel the world together - I have negotiated my non-attendance at a (work) show in Washington DC next year, so I can go on a holiday with my mates instead - I no longer care that I’m borderline epileptic – I am no longer invisible to women - I seem to be taller - I like eating greens for the first time ever - everything seems sunnier… & I've gained this 'I don’t give a fuck & I'm happy with it' attitude. Which is nice.

So to all those in a deep depression, my recommendation is to go & see a guy wearing dungarees, talk about Northern Soul & the difference between R&B (Rhythm & Blues) & R&B (Rhythm & Base) & then get all your hair cut off.

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Date:2009-09-27 20:52
Subject:I am not...

My Job.
My House.
My vocabulary.
My kintchinalia.
The places I go on holiday.
The amount of girls I've shagged.
The whitest of white teeth.
My hair-cut.
My Play-list.
The number of emty bedrooms.
The obscure beer I drink.
The school I went to.
My place of bith.
What I do.
How much I earn.
The car\BHP I drive.
My ethinic heritage.
My height.
The money in my bank account.
My watch.
My religious views.
My social standing.
My freinds.
The contents of my fridge.
How messy my desk is.
The way I walk.
How old school my trainers are.
My facial hair.
About just me.
Oak hard wood flooring.
Hair Putty.
Spots, stipes, lines.
My medication.
The emails I write.
The wattage fo my speakers.
How enlightend I am
Any of these things, Im these plus 15491549687945

7 comments | post a comment

Date:2009-09-27 19:56
Subject:Satan's taco...

Well well well... where are we...

After 4 months of working 14 hour days, after creating the best event my compnay has ever produced, after making more than 200k, after excelling in every way I've been asked... I feel like a down & out failure.

I dont care about what im doing, I dont feel like it's worth while, there is no value for me in what I'm achieving...

I could tell you about being the top of my game, I can tell you about 20k spent in chapagin alone, I can tell you about the 40% increase in revenue over last year... but I'd be boring myself... was it worth it. No. Did I enjoy it? no enough. Will I do it again. I really hope not. In the last few months I've successed more than I ever have beofore, but I've never felt more alone or like more of a failure. I reached a point where I look at my five year plan & I want to hit a wall at 200mph. Break on through to the other side. Tear it all down & keep only what I need. Make the change. Choose life. I'm boring myself, if I dont get out soon, I'll wake up at 40 & end the game... as I sit here, zoning ou tof X-Factor I fanticise about beating the walls until my arms are stumped to the elbows, looking, laughing, & then raging some more....

In other news, I see my friend, ruining himself with coke, shrinking dieing & it's all kinds of sad. Someone who could have it all will settle for nothing...

Poor old Keith Floyed has died. Will miss him, the non conformist, the anachkist, the cad/bounder... God bless, you did far more that Patrick Swayze.

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Date:2009-08-07 14:25
Subject:Just when I thought I was falling out of love with Will Ferrell...

At the very point I thought, ugh... dude, do something funny!!!!... I watched: You're Welcome America. Political satire, G. W. Bush, Will Ferrell - thats a three-way worth watching.

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Date:2009-07-08 23:33
Subject:lemon sunrise...

When all is said & done, when you have cut through all the bullshit, peeled back the cultures, the mindsets, the advice, the mechanisms... when it's all been striped back, to the bare bone, all that's left is you.

It's you, you answer to, it's you you've got to impress, it's you, you've got to live with. We all stand alone in the cold light of day. I live or die alone.

Right now, all I need is my energy, my blackberry, a tequila sunrise & Rambo 1 - First Blood.

Say goodnight to the dogs, get under the covers & share the warmth. Tomorrow is a brand new beginning.

20 comments | post a comment

Date:2009-06-26 13:09

Everything happens for a reason.

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Date:2009-06-25 15:10
Subject:Blues and reds and 9 an' a half grand...

Just spoke to Tom, he's at Glastonbury. I couldn't go when it came to it, the choice was my job or Glasto... & I, Owen Glassey took the sensible option.... guess that's part of growing up, making the hard decisions not because it's easy, but cos it's the right thing to do. Damnyou! So I spoke to Tom & he spoke back but the words he spoke weren't english, it was like he was saying two words simultaneously, there were only two words that I could comprehend 'Dawn French'... bless him. I can guess what he's up to & although being with him now would be the ultimate nightmare, I still want to jack this in & transport myself over there at warp speed right now.

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Date:2009-06-25 13:33
Subject:The skyline rising...

It was our one month anniversary the other day. We celebrated. I think Aye is planning to celebrate our two, three, four ... 800th month anniversary's for the rest of time. I'm cool with that - its a good excuse to drink campaign in the park with a bag of chips.

Fish is getting very excited about his stag do. 7 days in Vegas... thats both awesome & cheeky & I've been told his hit list is:

- Hire a Corvette... presumably to drive to Barstow... 157 miles should take about an hour or so.
- Negotiate the purchase of a monkey.
- Shoot lots of guns.
- Go gambling in fuzzy animal suits.
- Go fishing next to the Hoover damn with some boatdrinks.
- Hire a big truck & drive into the dessert, eat peyote & find our spirit guides.
- Hang out with midgets at the polo lounge.
- Ride a roller coaster that's on top of a hotel 1081ft above the strip.
- Get his lap danced upon many, many times.

Some of those he had help with, some he didn't. I should really do some research but I can't even think about it at the moment. Things here are way too busy & I know this trip is going to be a major distraction...this one may be the trip too far.

In other news, two people in as many days have told me I look like Jonny Depp. Yeah cheers, you're mental.

Aye's birthday is coming up, I'm having a big BBQ - house party. You're all invited.

Why does this give me a twinge?!

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Date:2009-06-18 15:24
Subject:Got a ticket for a midnight hanging...


HoneymooningCollapse )

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Date:2009-06-17 14:28
Subject:Pros & Cons...

I've just been offered Glastonberry tickets...

I'll miss Rupi's Wedding.

Neil Young
The Specials
Lily Allen
Fleet Foxes
Special Guests
Regina Spektor
Gabriella Cilmi
Björn Again
Bloc Party
The Ting Tings
Lady Gaga
Friendly Fires
White Lies
The View
The Maccabees
The Rakes
The Whip
Mr Hudson
Ray Davies
Fairport Convention
Jason Mraz
Scott Matthews
No Crows
Hugh Cornwell
Ben Taylor
Sean Taylor
Alyssa Bonagura
John Smith
Bruce Springsteen & The E Street band
Franz Ferdinand
Kilfenorca Ceili Band
Bruce Springsteen & The E Street band
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Dizzee Rascal
Spinal Tap
Eagles Of Death Metal
VV Brown
Franz Ferdinand
Maximo Park
Paolo Nutini
Peter Doherty
The Script
Jason Mraz
Peter, Bjorn & John
The Broken Family Band
Kilfenorca Ceili Band
Newton Faulkner
Lisa Hannigan
Gary Louris & Mark Olson
Bap Kennedy
Hope And Social
Cora Smyth Band
The Prodigy
Georgie Fame
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Tom Jones
Amadou & Mariam
Tony Christie
Status Quo
Easy Star All-Stars
The Prodigy
Bon Iver
Bat For Lashes
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Enter Shikari
Brand New
Art Brut
The Boxer Rebellion
In Case Of Fire
Georgie Fame
Roger McGuinn
Sharon Corr
London Community Gospel Choir
Beth Rowley
Imelda May
Music of The Penguin Café Orchestra
Kate Walsh
Martin Harley Band
Lucy Wainwright Roche
The Lost Brothers
Timo Maas
The Streets
Steel Pulse
Hot 8 Brass Band
Stephanie Mckay
Speed Caravan
The Perceptions
Jamie T
Jack Penate
Little Boots
VV Brown
The Virgins
Fucked Up
Rumble Strips
Dan Black
General Fiasco
Timo Maas
Tom Real
Beardyman With The Bays
James Monro
Banco Da Gaia
Red Snapper
Clive Craske
Mim Suleiman
Clive Craske
Johhny Mars
Playing For Change
Jarvis Cocker
Stereo MCs
Playing For Change
Baaba Maal
Lonnie Liston Smith
Jamie Cullum
Rokia Traore
Erik Truffaz
Rolf Harris
Warsaw Village Band
Jarvis Cocker
White Lies
Florence & The Machine
Passion Pit
Gaslight Anthem
The Temper Trap
The Big Pink
The Nightingales
Stereo MCs
Stanton Warriors
DJ Fresh
Dub Pistols
Don Letts
Dr Meaker
Rusko Live
Sancho Panza
Black Eyed Peas
Echo & The Bunnymen
Black Eyed Peas
Manu Dibango
Roots Manuva
Orquesta Aragon
Linda Lewis
Jose James
Abdullah Chhadeh & Syriana
Echo & The Bunnymen
The Wombats
The Soft Pack
Just Jack
Emmy The Great
Twisted Wheel
We Have Band
Wave Machines
Good Books
Steve Hillage Band
Richard "Kid" Strange and The Party
2nd Class Citizen
Back To The Planet
3 Daft Monkeys
Howard Marks
David Guetta
Erol Alkan
Animal Collective
The Horrors
Noah And The Whale
Special Guests
Emiliana Torrini
Special Guests
James Hunter
Golden Silvers
Lay Low
David Guetta
Freeland (Live)
Layo & Bushwacka!
Easy Star All-Stars
Iration Steppas featuring Mark Iration
Tom Middleton
The Egg
Paul Woolford
Pama International
Erol Alkan
The Whip
Annie Mac
Skream & Benga
Joe Goddard (Hot Chip) DJ set
Filthy Dukes
Nathan Detroit
Bon Iver
2 Many DJs
Josh Wink
Bon Iver
M Ward
Special Guests
Shlomo & Guests
Horace Andy
Easy Star All-Stars
The Memory Band
Bombay Bicycle Club
The Low Anthem
First Aid Kit
2 Many DJs
Eric Prydz
Pete Tong
La Roux
Tinchy Stryder
We Have Band
Josh Wink
DJ Yoda
DJ Food
The Qemists
Timo Maas
The Japanese Popstars
Hudson Mohawke
The Emperor Machine
Jam The Channel DJs
Seun Kuti & Fela's Africa 80
Calvin Harris
Seun Kuti & Fela's Africa 80
Cold War Kids
Tunng & Tinariwen
Alela Diane
Terry Reid
The Rockingbirds
Alberta Cross
Micachu & The Shapes
WaterAid Choir
Calvin Harris
Mr Scruff
VV Brown
Rob Da Bank
Wonky Pop DJs
Kissy Sellout
Wonky Pop DJs
Ou Est
Chris Coco
Jodie Harsh
Beat Torrent
FreQ Nasty
Dirty Vegas
Jack Beats
Don Diablo
Stuart Wilkinson

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Date:2009-06-16 13:13
Subject:Nothing's measured by what it needs...

I haven't worked a full week for over a month, this is good.

Aye had a severe asthma attack on Sunday night. Usually a session on a nebuliser fixes that but this time was different, I cranked it up once, nothing, twice & still no change - this has never happened before. She was sitting next to me struggling to get a breath of air & although she could just about breathe, the capillaries in her lungs were closed so the oxygen couldn't be metabolized. This must feel like drowning in your own bedroom, so the sufferer begins to hyperventilate, which increases the heart rate & doubles the problem. I've never seen this before & my mind when into some kind of 'safe mode'. All other programs and mechanisms shut down, all that mattered was the here & now, so after having no sleep for 50+ hours I scooped her up & drove her to A&E at light speed.

Bang, the ER door opens & I ask for the oxygen taps to be opened. All of their paperwork & questions seemed irrelevant & frustrating & my eyes were screaming 'Give her some fucking air!!!' but my safe mode got me past this & finally Aye was sitting down being assessed by a nurse... 6 nebulisers, a shot of Magnesium & 8 hours later, Aye was through it and allowed to leave. A&E staff have got a crazy rough job, every hour, every day there is a new disaster to clean up, a new family to reassure & a new patient who's world is collapsing. Their safe mode is truly bombproof & although at the time it can seem robotic & blasé I now understand it. Fair play to them & fair play to Aye, first class.

So yesterday was spent catching up on sleep, watching DVD's, making roast duck noodles & picking up our wedding pictures. All of which is good.

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Date:2009-06-12 10:36

I've got bird flu or swine flu or SARS or somthing. I'm eating nothing but bananas until I feel better.

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Date:2009-06-11 08:34
Subject:You never lose in your razorblade shoes...

Well that was fucking awesome.
The second marriage top’ed the first in terms of excitement, flashes, bells & whistles. First off I just want to say that have collected an amazing crew of friends over the years, they all helped in their own way & did a first rate job - too much to mention individually but in brief, Ben with his all-round excellence & red face, Aven with the cinematography, porn-production & explosive expertise, Sham with his D&B skills & Gaviscon, Kev with his beard/wooly jumpers, Fish with the 'walking down the Isle music' (reggae!?) fumble & Alec with his comedy value... Alec went from being asleep to sex-pest within 4 seconds, he called Sheila (a 55yr old colleague of Aye’s) a MIF. Sheila: "what's that?" Alec: "Mother I'd Fuck AHAHAaa..." Sheila: "aha, you’re funny" Alec: *dribble* "Gotto go, Theresa wants my..." *dribble* Pure Class.

So this is my wife.

Aye is crazy-OMG-Love-LOL-sparkle-fuzzy-soft-WOW-rainbow-bang gorgeous. Didn't know it could keep getting better like this, but it does.

So, Honeymoon started off in Hong Kong which is mental. 25% of the worlds population is Chinese & I think they all live on Hong Kong Island & Bali is crazy special. I feel like I've been away for a month & have come back with some kind of super power. Everything seems possible again, it's all better & brighter & people are nicer & calmer, or maybe it's just me. I went away a boy & now I'm a man. Good times.

What else... first day back at work yesterday & this new energy is pushing work off my desk & out the window. So far I've sold 88k of sponsorship so our event is paid for twice over even before we charge 100 or so delegates £1550 to visit it. I'm knocking out all the promo work as we speak whilst I listen to the wedding play lists that Sham refused to play at the reception. I lost both of my wedding bands yesterday… at the point of breaking a sweat whilst running around the office screaming my brain told me to check the coffee machine. We have a really big coffee machine here & you have to move the beans around the grinder or they don't fall though & well, grind. So there were my rings, in the grinding unit 1cm away from being dust. "why did you check there Owen" - "I know how my brain works" Ah brains, I got a call from my lawyer & on receipt of no further evidence the defense has increased their offer by 100%. So I've def. got 100k coming my way which feels good. So I told them to go away, triple it & come back to me so I can tell them to fuck off again.

Life is good, although me bed has shrunk & I miss my own private pool for reasons mere mortals will never understand.

Oh Ja, what the Jeff is this?!?! Maple beans... why?!


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Date:2009-05-31 08:35
Subject:Junglist massive...

So here I sit in Ubud, Bali. Sucking back Bintangs & waitingfor the inevitable downpour, but none of that matters. Things are pretty sweet here, everything feels good & right & time has lost all meaning to me. We're staying in a James Bond villa overlooking a river valley, its bigger than my house with our very own pool... where we sit & watch the ozzies scream their way down the white water rapids cracking heads on the bus sized rocks.

Oh ja, thanks for the heads up re. passport control Ben. 3 hours in a Bali organised queue surrounded by surfers was like, whoa dude, totally... whoa.

So two more nights of jungle bliss with the monkeys & then we hit the road again. Fuck Kuta. I think I'll hit the Mica beach, that glitters with a billion pricks of light, then... I'm going to the monkey sanctury to set up home... Aye doesn't know about this yet.

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Date:2009-05-29 17:42
Subject:Good times...

I've just spilt a full pint over my crotch, that's like 6 quid, brilliant.

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